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Cowboys and Aliens... And some Indians...

It had such potential. James Bond... Indiana Jones... Cowboys... Aliens... Olivia Wilde! Unfortunately there wasn't enough action to make up for the mostly unoriginal and predictable script, and the script didn't require enough thought to make up for the less than exciting action. And there wasn't enough Olivia Wilde to make up for either of those. On the bright side, Harrison Ford decided to take the time to act in this film after he slept through the last installment of Indiana Jones.
Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the desert with no memory, but apparently he remembers to take down three armed men coming home from scalping some Indians. Thankfully he runs into Olivia Wilde (Ella Swenson) who inexplicably helps him regain his memory. It seems he forgot he was once a gang leader who fell in love with a hooker and then left said gang with a load of gold they had just stolen. Unfortunately he can't remember if he actually loved that hooker, but he's going to go risk his life chasing after some aliens for revenge anyway.
After that point you pretty much have to stop thinking, because you find out why the aliens are here. Although they live in a pretty barren spaceship, they're here for our gold because it's just as rare as where they're from. Although who knows what they're going to do with it. They walk around naked and the only possessions they have are guns and spaceships. Well, it's obviously they don't have much of a brain when you find out they're taking humans because they want to study their weaknesses, so they can wipe out the planet. Hello? You have laser beam shooting guns and spaceships and you're fighting people on the ground with guns and bow and arrows. Just blow them up!
P.S. Go see The Smurfs!

Horribly Horrible Bosses

It had such potential. It had Teen Wolf Too's Jason Bateman. Jennifer Aniston wasn't horrible in Just Go With It. Jason Sudeikis and Kevin Spacey. The plot is relatable. Who hasn't wanted to kill their boss, but then someone's 12 year old brother got ahold of the script and let their little sister do Colin Farrell's makeup. Charlie Day's whiney voice becomes unbearably whiney as he spends the whole movie whining that Jennifer Aniston is trying to molest him. He's not getting any sympathy from anyone. It's a little hard to to believe Aniston as a perverted sex fiend, but at least Sudeikis capitalizes on it. And manages to sneak in some quality time with Julie Bowen. Kevin Spacey puts on the most enjoyable performance as Nick's (Bateman) boss, but it's too little too late. Jamie Foxx makes a cameo, but they spend too much time building a lame joke about his name being Mother Fucker. Your best bet is to fast forward to Kevin Spacey, then to Jennifer Aniston in her underwear, and then hold down the fast forward button until you reach Bob Newhart and sit back and enjoy that last 2 minutes of the movie.

There's never a bad time for a Speedo

in
Enjoy riding the Virginia waves in style!


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If I could be any superhero...

in

I'd be the Brown Hornet! Now who would be Stinger...